Iron Man's Injuries Explained
by Volitan
Summary: Tony attends a press conference with a spectacular black eye and a nasty cut on his forehead. A junior reporter asks how he came about his injuries, Tony shrugs it off, Rhodey tells them the truth. Humour. Oneshot.


**Iron Man's Injuries****.**

**Tony attends a press conference with a spectacular black eye and a nasty cut on his forehead. A junior reporter asks how he came about his injuries, Tony shrugs it off, Rhodey tells them the truth. Humour.**

**I am an amateur author of false name,**

**I borrow worlds of another's fame.**

**I stake no claim on recognised locations,**

**Neither do I own canon situations.**

**I merely come here to spend a while,**

**Reading other's work; writing my own style.**

**I earn no money, no wage, no dosh.**

**I gain no finance, no revenue, no cash.**

**I do not mean to step on legal toes,**

**I mean no infringement, I'm friend not foe.**

**So please, do come in, relax, unwind.**

**I hope in my work, enjoyment you will find.**

The press conference had almost ended, the questions regarding Stark Industries' latest triumphs, had gone brilliantly. Even though the CEOs were utterly exhausted - relying on copious cups of coffee to get through the press conference - they had fielded the questions well and given the world food for thought.

The final question came from a teenager, a young thirteen-year-old who'd won a competition with one of the papers to be a reporter for a week. The acne-splattered lad had obviously been timid as he raised his hand, but his voice was clear of any nerves, and he was - above all else - very polite in his questioning.

"Mr. Stark, sir, I was wondering if you wouldn't mind explaining your recent injuries, please?"

"What lovely manners! Why can't the rest of you take a leaf out of this young man's book?" Pepper said, noticing that Tony was glaring out of one eye at the mass of reporters, the other eye was practically swollen closed and badly bruised. "Are you going to tell them?" Pepper whispered to him, the sensitive microphone picking her words up.

"I don't think that's such a good idea… And they don't want to know that…" Tony began, trailing off and smiling weakly at the press.

"Were you injured while on an Iron Man mission?" came the question from one reporter.

"Are your injuries the result of classified research?" yelled another.

In response, Colonel Rhodes simply snorted, biting his lip to keep the laugh from escaping. Pepper took one look at the Airman and covered her grin with a hand, her shoulders shaking as she chuckled silently.

"No, the black eye and cut on my head happened at home, and its _not_ funny, Rhodey!"

"No, its hilarious!" said Rhodes with a grin, finally letting a small laugh escape.

"I wouldn't say hilarious, its not nice to laugh at someone who's hurt - but it was amusing." Pepper corrected, squeezing Tony's hand beneath the table.

"What happened?" Cried a reporter.

"The munchkin's crawling now, so I put in a baby gate - and I walked into it." Tony mumbled.

"No, tell the _whole_ story, Tony!" Rhodey laughed, "You walked into it, got your feet caught underneath it, went head-first over it and whacked your face on the kitchen counter! JackAss couldn't have scripted it better!"

"Shall I tell them about Spring Break, Rhodey?" Tony spat.

"Do you know what's _worse_, you'd just spent the _previous_ forty-five minutes _attaching_ the afore-mentioned baby gate to the wall! How could you have _forgotten_ it was even there?" Rhodes replied, sniggering.

"I wasn't used to it being there just yet." Tony said, pouting.

"And then to rub salt in the wound, _Daddy's Little Princess_ crawled over to the baby gate, had a good look and sat there _giggling_ and _clapping her hands_ as you lay there bleeding and whimpering in pain!" Rhodes chuckled, watching as the press tried to suppress their giggles.

Tony covered the microphone with his hand and turned to his long-suffering friend: "I hate you." he whispered.

"Not as much as you hate that baby gate right now, though." Rhodes whispered back , taking a deep breath and resuming his professionalism, almost.

"Any other questions, preferably of the non-injury-related variety?" Tony asked to the reporters, who were still sniggering.


End file.
